girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize