I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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