just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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