We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
