Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
