Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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