the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
