Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
