just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
