doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
