Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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