my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize