Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
