chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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