I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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