Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
