i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where is the hickey?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
