I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
