There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
