There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
