i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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