my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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