Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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