Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize