Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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