Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
