I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
