Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
