Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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