This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
