Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (2995) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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  (507): As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September. http://tfl.nu/oogz
  Replies (19) Good night (4568) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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  (805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3
  Replies (36) Good night (1171) Bad night (3467) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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  (402): Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery. http://tfl.nu/iy17
  Replies (64) Good night (1529) Bad night (9619) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

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  (256): The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing. http://tfl.nu/qyj9
  Replies (23) Good night (1145) Bad night (4549) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So gin and wine won't be happening again

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  (603): So gin and wine won't be happening again http://tfl.nu/oyej
  Replies (16) Good night (823) Bad night (3355) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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  (812): I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila http://tfl.nu/88ud
  Replies (6) Good night (4376) Bad night (661)
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  (805): View more from California

  Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?

  (805): View more from California

  and why are they spooning a flamingo?

  (714): View more from California

  they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.

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  (805): Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor? (805): and why are they spooning a flamingo? (714): they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice. http://tfl.nu/n0m3
  Replies (14) Good night (3922) Bad night (816)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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  (412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef
  Replies (18) Good night (3693) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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  (512): I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself. http://tfl.nu/i5og
  Replies (15) Good night (670) Bad night (3811) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.

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  (917): I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/qvff
  Replies (23) Good night (1178) Bad night (3478) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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  (720): I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk http://tfl.nu/2ycv
  Replies (13) Good night (3674) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

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  (858): You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there... http://tfl.nu/mklp
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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  (250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya
  Replies (6) Good night (1981) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.

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  (864): We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom. http://tfl.nu/8ad4
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt

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