I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking