Someone shit on the floor
She announced her abortion via fbk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.