Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
