if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
