Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
