My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize