So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
