I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
