Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
