i just sent this text using only my big toe
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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