it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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