PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
