could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We are two peas in an std pod
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
