he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize