People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
