youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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