Sponge bath it is.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
