I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
