He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
