then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
