to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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