what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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