I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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