dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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