have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
