You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".