My room smells like vodka and shame
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
