i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think my fart just growled at me.
high people should be assigned attendants
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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