she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
