you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
