You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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