K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My hand turned me down
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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