She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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