The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I bet he comes in French.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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