I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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